Topic: A list I wrote.
Tell me if this is good. I wrote it last night in a stupor.
You Know You Play RPGs too much when…
• You idle when doing nothing.
• Every time you squash a bug you say “Earned 1 exp. point…”
• You go to sleep for the night and expect all wounds to heal.
• You walk into stranger’s houses for the hell of it.
• You attempt to save before your semester finals just in case.
• Every time you screw something up you say, “Shoot! Load Game!”
• You attempt to determine how many stamina points your meals will recover.
• You make up text boxes in your head for normal everyday events. (“After taking a dump, you feel greatly refreshed…”)
• You frequently imagine smiting people you hate with lightning and fireballs.
• You stage mock combat with your breakfast. (“You bite toast, dealing 11 damage, Toast has been felled!”)
• You hold down an imaginary dash button when running.
• Your screen-name is CecilButzHiroMarth.
• Whenever you go somewhere with friends, you feel pressured to walk in a straight line.
• Whenever you make a decision you imagine a yes or no text box.
• You ask people where the weapon and armor shops are when visiting different towns.
• You attempt to switch into third person view.
• You consider anything you have in your hand ‘equipped’.
• You attempt to sell your old equipment back to the store.
• You set your level and stats. When you levelup, you jump up and down and wave your arm.
• You say your skill level has increased every time you perform some sort of action. (Woohoo! Sock Folding increased to 32!)
• You have developed a routine plotscript for every time you go to bed.
• You never sit down.
• Every time you put on a piece of clothing, you mutter to yourself about equipping it.
• Whenever you get hurt you determine the HP loss.
• Then you try to cast ‘cure’.
• When in a fight you expect to take turns.
• You have to hit an imaginary action button before talking to someone.
• When sick you consider yourself ‘poisoned’.
• You carry around a pack to hold stuff in.
• You then try to fit 99 potions in it.
• When someone dies in a movie you yell, “Use a Phoenix Down, Damnit!”
• You search pots, barrels, cabinets, and other things for secret items.
• You look for a strategy guide on your life.
• You wrote this list.
Hope you enjoyed this! Cheers!
Oman