Mister "The Man" T...

Mr. T only eats the Ts in his alphabits cereal. All the other letters are pitied for being fools.

At the end of every rainbow is Mr. T. It is another way for Mr. T to pity fools. Everyone knows Mr. T ate the leprechaun.

The last person who looked at Mr. T was Ray Charles.

On the 0th day, Mr. T created God. Then made God do the rest of the work while Mr. T pitied him.

Mr. T does not have dinner parties. The one and only dinner party he had he served mohawks of fury and double fists of pain.

The last time Mr. T and Chuck Norris teamed up, Atlantis sunk.

Gary Coleman met an early death when Mr. T ate him, mistaking him for a Ho-Ho.

Few people know that "The A-Team" was completely true. The only thing the producers invented was that the A-Team had been in Vietnam. If Mr. T had actually been fighting for the US in Vietnam, Saigon would be the capital of America's fifty-first state right now.

Mr. T is very superstitious. Because of this, he tears off the head of any black cat that crosses his path. In fact, he tears off the head of just about any animal that crosses his path. Mr. T can never be too careful.

The term "baker's dozen" was created because Mr. T scared the baker so much that he gave him an extra donut.

One night Mr. T took a 10 p.m. train home. He still refuses to give it back.

Contrary to popular belief, it wasn't the planes that killed King Kong, nor beauty, but instead the fear of being pitied by Mr. T.

Mr. T walked in front of a speeding bus. Needless to say, he was charged with 7 counts of manslaughter.

After Jesus turned water into wine, Mr. T turned that wine into blood and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. When the smoke settled all that remained was a giant wooden "T" and Jesus knew he was in trouble.

In the movie Wizard of OZ, Mr. T rented out his necklaces to make the Yellow Brick Road. It cost 6 midgets and a freaky night with Glenda, the good witch.

Mr. T destroyed the periodic table, saying Mr. T. only recognizes the element of surprise.

Mr. T once entered a Hot Dog eating contest. He ate a record 93 hot dogs, a 72 oz. steak, two pedestrians, a streetlamp, and a judge who called him "that guy from the A-Team".

During the first season of American Gladiators, 24 contestants died while attempting to run the Eliminator. The Eliminator was a cardboard cutout of Mr. T.

Mr. T owns all of Captain Planet's rings.

If you laid out all of Mr. T's gold chains end to end, he would kick your sorry ass.

The other members of the A-Team are actually played by Mr. T moving faster than the speed of light and changing costumes constantly.

What you see, Mr. T sees. What you don't see? Don't worry, Mr. T sees that too.

It all began with the forging of the great rings. Three were given to the elves, seven to the dwarves, and nine to the race of men. Then Mr T. forged his golden chains, and everyone got jealous. Mr. T pitied them, but not that much.

Mr. T was almost involved in a second car crash. To avoid the crash, he folded his arms and slowly shook his head. The car decided it was safer to avoid Mr. T.

Last years world's strongest man competition was held on Mr. T's scrotum. Everyone lost.

There's no hair on Mr-T's chest, because hair don't grow on steel.

Mr. T once pitied a fool so hard, everyone in the same state shit their pants.

In reality, the Titanic crashed into Mr. T. The ship should've sunk immediately, but Mr. T felt bad for the children, so he held it up long enough for them to escape. Then he let the fools go down with the ship.

Ever have one of those nights when you'd wake up panting and sweating? That was Mr.T, and you my friend, have just been pitied.

"A fool and his gold are soon parted." This is because a fool an Mr. T's fist meet every day.

Mr. T eats coal and craps diamonds.

The Moon has nothing to do with the ocean's tides as commonly believed; it is simply a reaction from Mr. T breathing.

Mr. T doesn't have to shit. In fact, the only reason the rest of us do is because we know that Mr. T is out there.

Dick Cheney asked Mr. T to help in the war on terror, but Mr. T only creates terror.

Mr. T has fucked your mom. So has Billy Idol, but that's a different website.

Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.

Mr. T doesn't suffer from pounding headaches... headaches suffer from a pounding Mr. T.

If you were to look at your family tree, there is a 99.4% chance that Mr. T will be somewhere on the top row.

Mr. T entered a Mr. T look-alike contest, and lost. The next day, six judges were found pitied to death in a Milwaukee dumpster.

The gold chains Mr. T wears around his neck are equivalent in value to the gross national product of Equador.

Mr. T and Chuck Norris once engaged in an arm wrestle. The result was Hiroshima.

Mr. T spent one day throwing the first pitch at a Little League baseball game. His pitch was so fast that it broke the previously undiscovered "light barrier". This is what caused the Earth to spin on a tilt. Mr. T invented seasons.

The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Mr. T and forgot to pay him back.

When Dr. Bruce Banner gets angry, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets angry, he turns into Mr. T.